No surprises here

Not sure if Evil Jared got what he expected after he “placed a Russian flag in his pants, rubbed it on his ass, and said to the approving crowd, “Don’t tell Putin.” As Gawker reports, the Bloodhound Gang was subsequently banned from the Kurban music festival and briefly detained at the airport.

http://gawker.com/bloodhound-gang-banned-from-russia-for-flag-desecration-1024658685

One Russia-related reference from the Philly-based group comes from their sophomore album, Use Your Fingers:

Clap it on, clap it off
Sniff my exhaust
Because I’ve got more steps than Baryshnikov

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Time lapse video of Moscow

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Vice spends a day with Sergei Veremeenko

Vodka, banya, hunting, it’s the lifestyle of the rich (and famous?)

Thanks to RK for the link.

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Happy Birthday, Mayakovsky

(2 days late)

СЕБЕ, ЛЮБИМОМУ,
ПОСВЯЩАЕТ ЭТИ СТРОКИ АВТОР

Четыре.
Тяжелые, как удар.
«Кесарево кесарю — богу богово».
А такому,
как я,
ткнуться куда?
Где для меня уготовано логово?

Если б был я
маленький,
как Великий океан, —
на цыпочки б волн встал,
приливом ласкался к луне бы.
Где любимую найти мне,
такую, как и я?
Такая не уместилась бы в крохотное небо!

О, если б я нищ был!
Как миллиардер!
Что деньги душе?
Ненасытный вор в ней.
Моих желаний разнузданной орде
не хватит золота всех Калифорний.

Если б быть мне косноязычным,
как Дант
или Петрарка!
Душу к одной зажечь!
Стихами велеть истлеть ей!
И слова
и любовь моя —
триумфальная арка:
30 пышно,
бесследно пройдут сквозь нее
любовницы всех столетий.

О, если б был я
тихий,
как гром, —
ныл бы,
дрожью объял бы земли одряхлевший скит.
Я
если всей его мощью
выреву голос огромный —
кометы заломят горящие руки,
бросятся вниз с тоски.
Я бы глаз лучами грыз ночи —
о, если б был я
тусклый,
как солнце!
Очень мне надо
сияньем моим поить
земли отощавшее лонце!

Пройду,
любовищу мою волоча.
В какой ночи́,
бредово́й,
недужной,
какими Голиафами я зача́т —
такой большой
и такой ненужный?
[1916]

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Dimensions of the Universiade

While English Russia presents a photo album of eye candy on display at the 2013 Universiade, taking place in Kazan, slon.ru journalist Vera Kichanova gives us 7 inconvenient truths about the games.

The athletes featured in the English Russia album include Viktoria Yarushkina, Ksenia Ustalova, Maria Kuchina, and Darya Klishina, among others.

And Kichanova’s truths may come as no surprise, but they are still amusing. Most absurd of all is that the medals awarded to competitors have been known to break and crack at the slightest touch.

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Pussy Riot takes on Russia’s oil industry

Lyrics:

Баланда-пропаганда, баланда-пропагандаааааааа!

Практика машинного труда
Страной освоена едва ли успешно.
В пылу производства груба
Бываю все чаще — не знаю, уместно ли.

По трубе текут низовые активисты,
Наполняют ее жизнью – и просят погром!
ГУФСИН, МВД, МЧС и Роснано,
Лукойл, ТНК, Роснефть и Газпром,

Баланда-пропаганда, баланда-пропагандаааааааа!

Добейся регистрации,
Злодеи на вышках,
Нефть на столах,
Сечин с крокодилами,
Как в красной тюрьме.

Искупай рабочего в норвежском фьорде,
Отрежь себе член как герой Депардье,
У тебя президент — как аятолла в Иране,
И церковь у тебя как в ОАЭ.

Чтобы все, как в Катаре,
Злодеи на вышках,
Качать без остатка.
В МИФИ — теология.
Погоны и скважины,
Навальный посажен,
Уго Чавес живой,
Как в красной тюрьме

Злоебучий сексист, оторвись от дырки!

Гомофобный гад, вон из истории!

Мурочку не еби ей —
Она нефть не на то тратит.
В мордовской тишине дней
Готовит салаты и иногда их ест.

Maria Alyokhina and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova remain in jail.

http://www.rferl.org/content/pussy-riot-video-oil/25047721.html

http://pussy-riot.info/

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So rare that it looks like a swan

Full credit for this post to SB and LP:

lionday

“maybe somehow, some lazy fuck mixed up the лев and лебедь thumbnails…”

http://www.moscowzoo.ru/get.asp?Id=N689

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“Moooove out of the way….”

From SB:

This may be the most epic dash cam clip yet:

http://www.thebiglead.com/index.php/2013/07/01/russian-driver-hits-cows-that-are-having-sex-while-crossing-road-captures-collision-on-dash-cam-video/

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Epic Trolling by Steven Seagal in Russia

Exhibit 1

438px-Soyembika

http://imgur.com/r/funny/tdlh4ZJ

Exhibit 2

http://www.buzzfeed.com/nowthisnews/our-newest-diplomat-steven-seagal-makes-a-mocker-749g

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What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

The end of the marriage between Vladimir and Lyudmila Putin highlighted another more successful, much happier marriage: that between Russian society and social media.

The Twittersphere blossomed with humorous takedowns of the Russian president’s personal life.

Some favorites, Via RFE/RL:

Twitter1

twitter2

twitter3

Let’s take this opportunity to look back on the end of various power couples throughout Russian history, in reverse chronological order:

– Vladimir and Lyudmila

vladimirlyudmila

While the official divorce announcement after 30 years of marriage came in 2013, rumours swirled in 2011 that Lyudmila had been committed to an insane asylum (more likely a rehab facility), and stories of Putin’s relationship with gymnast Alina Kabayeva date to 2000, when the bronze-medal winner returned to Russia after participating in the Sydney Olympics.

– Mikhail and Raisa

mikhail

The Soviet Union’s most famous First Lady, Raisa Gorbacheva had a marriage that did not end in tragedy, outlasting the dissolution of the USSR. As the Daily Mail writes,

Raisa came along in 1985 to change the dour image of Russian women with her broad-cheeked beauty, poise and charisma, the wives of Soviet leaders had been traditionally built for, er, durability rather than delight. Raisa was no lightweight, however. She was a university professor with a sharp business sense who bestrode the world stage so confidently that she became known as the Jackie Kennedy of the Kremlin.

– Alexandra Romanova and Grigory Rasputin

mikhailraisa

The Tsarina’s rumored affair with the mad monk is portrayed in the film Rasputin: Dark Servant of Destiny, and this mystical power couple met a tragic end: multiple attempts were made on Rasputin’s life and he only died after being poisoned (cyanide), shot four times, beaten, and finally drowned.

– Ivan the Terrible and Söyembikä

438px-Soyembika

This power couple was not a couple at all; legend has it that the Söyembikä Tower on Kazan’s Baumann Street was built by Ivan the Terrible on request by the Tatar princess. She told him that she would only marry him if he built her a seven-tier tower. Once the tower was built, Söyembikä climbed to the top and jumped to her death, choosing suicide over a forced marriage to the Tsar.

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