This is a collection of English-language phrases seen on t-shirts in situations where it is doubtful that the t-shirt wearer themself understands the words. Remember these t-shirts have been seen on individuals ranging from age 15 to age 65 ish.

Seen on Men

“Fuck Google, Ask Me!”

Points for creativity, for sure. I wonder which method of research would turn up more ‘hits’ though if I queried ‘loser’.

“Филин лаки”
[next to an image of Google]
I see what you did there.

“Go Fuck Yourself”

I guess this one deserves bonus points for subtlety….

“Suck My Dick”

Same with this one. Note that I saw this one on both a teenage boy and a retirement-age man.

“This Guy Is Gay —>”

Way to keep it classy and bring the “I’m with stupid” genre down a few notches

“Remember My Name, You’ll Be Screaming It Later” (2x)

This one is just weird. Not sure if its meant to suggest a sexual encounter or a violent assault. Or both.

“Stay Fly Til You Die”

I actually think this one is kinda cool.

“Free Pony Rides” [arrow pointing downwards]

This one, not so much. I feel like the wearer thinks its cool though.

“Fuck Yourself You Fucking Fuck”

Point taken.

“I’m a Fucking Genius”

“Fuck Fuel Economy”

Seen on Women

“This Is Why I’m Hot” (2x)

Actually, this is why you’re not.

“Who Needs Brains When You’ve Got These?”

And who needs self-respect when you can drop a few hundred rube dogs on a gimmick t-shirt?

“I Need a Boyfriend”

Tell me about it.

“Don’t Follow Me!!”

There has to be a story behind this one. Maybe I should have followed her to find out or would I have missed the whole point?

and the grand winner for most absurd t-shirt seen in Moscow so far goes to an elderly Central Asian fruit vendor setting up shop at the open-air bazaar near Kievsky Vokzal, his shirt said

“Anything But Anal”

Thanks for letting me know.

Who knows where these t-shirts come from. Only a handful of them have I found on e-tail sites. Here’s an example.


2 Responses to T-shirts!

  1. Jaybee says:

    Last year I went to Ghana and saw a styled dude with RayBan glasses and a suitcase sport a shirt that read
    in glitter.

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