T-shirts!

This is a collection of English-language phrases seen on t-shirts in situations where it is doubtful that the t-shirt wearer themself understands the words. Remember these t-shirts have been seen on individuals ranging from age 15 to age 65 ish.

Seen on Men

“Fuck Google, Ask Me!”

Comment:
Points for creativity, for sure. I wonder which method of research would turn up more ‘hits’ though if I queried ‘loser’.

“Филин лаки”
[next to an image of Google]
Comment:
I see what you did there.

“Go Fuck Yourself”

Comment:
I guess this one deserves bonus points for subtlety….

“Suck My Dick”

Comment:
Same with this one. Note that I saw this one on both a teenage boy and a retirement-age man.

“This Guy Is Gay —>”

Comment:
Way to keep it classy and bring the “I’m with stupid” genre down a few notches

“Remember My Name, You’ll Be Screaming It Later” (2x)

Comment:
This one is just weird. Not sure if its meant to suggest a sexual encounter or a violent assault. Or both.

“Stay Fly Til You Die”

Comment:
I actually think this one is kinda cool.

“Free Pony Rides” [arrow pointing downwards]

Comment:
This one, not so much. I feel like the wearer thinks its cool though.

“Fuck Yourself You Fucking Fuck”

Comment:
Point taken.

Others:
“I’m a Fucking Genius”

“Fuck Fuel Economy”

Seen on Women

“This Is Why I’m Hot” (2x)

Comment:
Actually, this is why you’re not.

“Who Needs Brains When You’ve Got These?”

Comment:
And who needs self-respect when you can drop a few hundred rube dogs on a gimmick t-shirt?

“I Need a Boyfriend”

Comment:
Tell me about it.

“Don’t Follow Me!!”

Comment:
There has to be a story behind this one. Maybe I should have followed her to find out or would I have missed the whole point?

and the grand winner for most absurd t-shirt seen in Moscow so far goes to an elderly Central Asian fruit vendor setting up shop at the open-air bazaar near Kievsky Vokzal, his shirt said

“Anything But Anal”

Comment:
Thanks for letting me know.

Who knows where these t-shirts come from. Only a handful of them have I found on e-tail sites. Here’s an example.

2 Responses to T-shirts!

  1. Jaybee says:

    Last year I went to Ghana and saw a styled dude with RayBan glasses and a suitcase sport a shirt that read
    “BUKKAKE RUINED MY CARPET”
    in glitter.

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