This is a collection of English-language phrases seen on t-shirts in situations where it is doubtful that the t-shirt wearer themself understands the words. Remember these t-shirts have been seen on individuals ranging from age 15 to age 65 ish.
Seen on Men
“Fuck Google, Ask Me!”
Comment:
Points for creativity, for sure. I wonder which method of research would turn up more ‘hits’ though if I queried ‘loser’.
“Филин лаки”
[next to an image of Google]
Comment:
I see what you did there.
“Go Fuck Yourself”
Comment:
I guess this one deserves bonus points for subtlety….
“Suck My Dick”
Comment:
Same with this one. Note that I saw this one on both a teenage boy and a retirement-age man.
“This Guy Is Gay —>”
Comment:
Way to keep it classy and bring the “I’m with stupid” genre down a few notches
“Remember My Name, You’ll Be Screaming It Later” (2x)
Comment:
This one is just weird. Not sure if its meant to suggest a sexual encounter or a violent assault. Or both.
“Stay Fly Til You Die”
Comment:
I actually think this one is kinda cool.
“Free Pony Rides” [arrow pointing downwards]
Comment:
This one, not so much. I feel like the wearer thinks its cool though.
“Fuck Yourself You Fucking Fuck”
Comment:
Point taken.
Others:
“I’m a Fucking Genius”
“Fuck Fuel Economy”
Seen on Women
“This Is Why I’m Hot” (2x)
Comment:
Actually, this is why you’re not.
“Who Needs Brains When You’ve Got These?”
Comment:
And who needs self-respect when you can drop a few hundred rube dogs on a gimmick t-shirt?
“I Need a Boyfriend”
Comment:
Tell me about it.
“Don’t Follow Me!!”
Comment:
There has to be a story behind this one. Maybe I should have followed her to find out or would I have missed the whole point?
and the grand winner for most absurd t-shirt seen in Moscow so far goes to an elderly Central Asian fruit vendor setting up shop at the open-air bazaar near Kievsky Vokzal, his shirt said
“Anything But Anal”
Comment:
Thanks for letting me know.
Who knows where these t-shirts come from. Only a handful of them have I found on e-tail sites. Here’s an example.
